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<title>Hi, CJ Cregg! by friendoftheJabberwock</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25410751">Hi, CJ Cregg!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendoftheJabberwock/pseuds/friendoftheJabberwock'>friendoftheJabberwock</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The West Wing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Double Entendre, Fanfiction, Gen, M/M, Meta, Sort of? - Freeform, The Author Regrets Everything, ao3 - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:54:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>364</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25410751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendoftheJabberwock/pseuds/friendoftheJabberwock</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Josh! I was reading – something. An email."</i>
</p><p>Except CJ was definitely not reading an email.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hi, CJ Cregg!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Or, CJ Cregg and her inner Ms. Perky.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>CJ's at work too early, as always, but for once there appear to be no dire emergencies to manage. So why not?</p><p>archiveofourown.org|</p><p> </p><p>Find your favorites:</p><p>Drabble</p><p>Les Misérables – All Media Types</p><p>House of Cards (US TV)</p><p>Slow Burn</p><p>
  <strong>Star Trek: The Original Series</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Include Rating: Explicit &amp; Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock</p><p>CJ clicks on the first search result and reads.</p><p>
  <em>…Kirk pushed Spock onto the bed and slipped his hand into the first officer's pants. The captain grasped the swollen, pulsing member…</em>
</p><p>"CJ? Have you read the Post this morning?"</p><p>Josh is standing in the doorway of her office and has been for God knows how long.</p><p>CJ nearly screams.</p><p>A press conference in the aftermath of a damaging scandal? No problem. A collapsing ceasefire between Israel and Hamas? All in a day's work. But being caught in the act of reading smutty fanfic? The end, clearly, is nigh.</p><p>Close the tab. Click the little X ten more times just to be sure.</p><p>"Josh! No, not yet. I was reading –" She gestures vaguely. "Something. An email."</p><p>Of course he knows something's up – the unflappable Press Secretary turned Chief of Staff is blushing like naughty child – and she knows he knows. But they carry on.</p><p>"There's an article about some members of Congress…"</p><p>Don't laugh. Do. Not. Laugh. But members – and the members' members…</p><p>"…especially Representative Dick Swett, who've been complaining about the state of the Cannon House Office Building."</p><p>Dick Swett. The almost-Canon Office Building. Stop! Focus.</p><p>"You remember how there was the problem with lead pipes contaminating the building's drinking water a few months ago? Well, apparently new pipes have been inserted…"</p><p>Oh God no. The suppressed laughter is slowly choking her now, and Josh just keeps adding more fuel to the fire.</p><p>"…but they're saying it's not enough. The members are asking for a thorough inspection of the entire structure."</p><p>She can't do this any longer. First she snorts, and hopes that'll be the end of it. The giggles keep bubbling up, though, until she's cackling and hysterical and can no longer sit up straight.</p><p>Josh is utterly baffled and makes the strategic decision to disappear for a while.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>First of all, endless apologies to anyone still reading. About all I can say in my defense is that my other projects right now are labor-intensive and/or not very cheerful and so I needed to blow off steam by writing some unadulterated garbage. I promise I usually have a less immature sense of humor.</p><p>Secondly, as always I have indulged in an unnecessary amount of research:</p><p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Swett">Richard "Dick" Swett (D-NH)</a> served in the US House of Representatives from 1991 until 1995.<br/>Drinking water in the Cannon House Office Building was actually <a href="https://www.politico.com/story/2016/06/house-capitol-tainted-water-224954">contaminated by lead plumbing</a> in 2016.</p><p>Obviously I've fiddled with the dates here, but artistic license, eh?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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